Hi all , this's my firt journal ..
anyway i really feel bad n i wanna share u ppl my thoughts ....

I've always wanted to be a model ,since i was an 8 yrs old girl i was kinda acting like a model that was funny lol i mean an 8 yrs old girl thinks she's hot ?! weird no ? lol

When I became 15 I missed out many opportunities coz my dad was strongly against this idea .

Secretly ,I did some photo shooting and lil “runaways” in that period in my life .

Once i was walking with my parents in a mall ,there was a model scouting agency,and 2 different agents came up to me(at different times) and asked if i wanted to model, my dad fast walked past them saying "no thank you"

My dad made up his mind when i told him "i'll not be a model but i'll apply for miss lebanon contest" he accepted that , then he thought " ok what's the diffrence ? u will model in one way or another .. so go ahead do what u wanna do " aah i luv my Daddy he's so kind , notice:i didn't apply for miss lebanon

Now am 19 ... n screw that moment when i wanted to be a model ... i've been facing hardships for 2 yrs now . n i hate that .... u all saw my pics , i think i look healthy .. some stupid agents thinks i should lose wieght , i refsuse to look like a lollipop or even a sckeleton .. maybe if i did i'll successed but in the other hand , guys would'nt like me ..

2 days ago .. i was in the gym .. n i fainted ppl !!! faaaaaainted !!! my eye-sight has gone really blurry that day .. all of that happened bcoz of a silly photographer that asked me to lose more wieght ..

i am studying administration .. recently , i've been thinkin that maybe modeling does not worth what it takes ! ppl will keep say am cute eventhough am not a model right ?


thx realllly i feel better now hhhhhh writing a journal is not as bad as i thought hehehehe